Interracial couples can experience many unique challenges. One of them might be learning how to honor your partner and their culture during the holidays. In the U.S., there are many holidays celebrated in different cultures and religions. Your partner might celebrate a different holiday than you or the same holiday as you but in a different way.
You may be feeling overwhelmed and anxious about how to incorporate their holiday traditions. That is very normal. It might take some extra effort to understand your significant other’s culture and background, but it can be rewarding getting to celebrate them for who they are and their traditions.
Here are some tips for celebrating the holidays as an interracial couple:
Ask Questions
Asking someone questions about their culture allows them to feel seen and understood. Instead of ignoring differences in race and culture, have open conversations about it. Ask your partner about what holidays looked like for them growing up and how they celebrated. Be curious about what certain holidays mean to them and their traditions. You can also discuss new traditions that you want to make together.
Be Creative
Small, creative acts can go a long way in making your partner feel seen and celebrated. There are many things you can do to honor your partner’s culture. One of Neema's wonderful counselors is Latino and his wife is White. They have made a fun tradition for the holidays of always including dishes from both of their cultures. He believes it is a great way to incorporate both of their cultures into the holidays while also creating new traditions. He noted that his wife is thoughtful to honor and celebrate his Latino culture. One year, she bought their kids Christmas books in Spanish. This made him feel validated and celebrated for his heritage. Consider small acts that you could do to make your partner feel validated and celebrated.
Visiting your interracial partner’s family
Visiting your partner's family for the holidays can be stressful and overwhelming. Those feelings can be intensified if your partner is a different race or from a different culture. You might be the only person of your race in the room. Or, you might be the only one who does not speak their language. It is natural that you might feel uncomfortable or out of place.
First, acknowledge the situation. Acknowledge how you feel and that this is a new situation for you. As difficult as this experience might be, it can be a growing experience for you. There are many people in America who experience that same feeling on a daily basis in every room they are in, not just for a family dinner. Remembering this can help to grow your empathy for people.
Once you acknowledge your reality, accept it. Accept that you might be the only person of your race in the room. Or that you don't understand the language being spoken. And that is okay. Once you accept the situation and know it is okay to feel how you are feeling, then you can work towards making the best of the situation.
As discussed above, be curious. Ask questions about their culture and traditions. People usually love to share about their culture and what it means to them.
Therapy for Racial Identity Challenges
Neema Counseling is located in Austin and Houston, and we have skilled therapists who are knowledgeable about the challenges individuals face related to culture and race.
If you are having trouble navigating an interracial relationship, we are here for you. If you are multiracial and working through embracing all parts of you or feeling fully accepted, we can help you work through that as well. Our therapists are ready to have difficult conversations and help you to thrive in your relationships and identity.
To begin this journey, schedule a free consultation here.